crazy
Now Playing: mk ultra
if i knew how to not read into things i would try that.

everything makes me hysterical right now. and i can't believe i can't get a grip. gone from crying to laughing so hard i couldnt think to being absolutely sick with myself. i dont know what to do. or what i want to do. or how to do it. or why. why bother, really. i'm never going to harvard. i'm never going to find my "one". i just going to be a bitter old woman. alone. and sad.
and the only things that seperate me from that are a couple more heart breaks-let downs-disappointments and a few more years.
i really could be the quintessential f**k up.

go me, i guess.

please
i'm probably going about this the wrong way
and i wish i could be realistic for just one day.

it makes me sick. sick. SICK. to think about how impossible i make things
and how infinite i want them to be
and how much i think about this
and how little you think about me

what the hell is up with the rhyming.

stop making me smile all of the time so i can think straight.

we built this city
when can i just be in love with you?
am i and i just dont know it?
when can i say " i love you scott "?
i could now but it would scare you away
and that i just couldnt handle.
because who else would be you?
no one else can be just like you, and anything else
is just
whatev.

what a waste i am.